This was written early January. I spent New Year with my family and friends in Makassar. It was alright. The bye-bye part with Ai was a bit of a drag. But not until the take off. I always intent to appear strong and tough in front of people. There he was holding a yellow race car toys and looking up at me as I was ready to give him my good-bye hug. I couldnt stand the look on his face. 'Da..da..NdaLia'. On the plane, the gentleman sat beside me was kind enough to distract my attention by keep making conversation. He noticed I was breaking down. I thanked him but never got to know his name. During his succesful effort to make me feel better, He was very resourseful on Malaysian goverment structure. I mean, what else would we talk about, we just met. He also said, if you are away from home you should be extra extra tough. He was talking to the toughest girl :) on planet earth who was all falling apart to pieces looking out the dissapearing blinking city and car lights way up from the plane window trying to spot one light. The light of her universe :(. I should've not taken the window seat. Anyway, I got snap shots of Ai and me. He just got his head shaved. He was refusing the scissor, or whatever the tool is the barber used, touching his head until the buzzer moved up and down his head and imitated a running car. Little boys and cars, go figure. Mind me saying that He is the most adorable little creature brought into my life. Not because He's mine, but because it's so true. I've gotten better without him though. The first days I was ever away from Him, I remember six months ago in a grocery trying so hard to fight back the tears only from brushing by the baby socks alley.