Thursday, August 19, 2004

Staying Together For The Kids...

I love Mrs. Doubfire. I want my kids to have a nanny like her... him I mean. CNN only, more vegetable, chores, and... British accent..?! Parents don't always stay together but that doesn't mean either one of them is not good at parenting. 'Staying together for the kids..' ?! hmmmm..????

Mrs. Doubtfire: My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flashes.
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Natalie: We're his goddamn kids too.
[Miranda gives Daniel a look]
Daniel: Heh heh, kids say the darnedest things.
Miranda: Any other choice phrases you'd like to teach our five year old?
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Daniel: Can I see the ad? Come on, Miranda, let me see the ad, I have a right as their father.
Miranda: Anything else I can show you?
Daniel: Are you offering?
Miranda: Not any more.
Daniel: What's the change?
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[Frank is making Daniel's woman costume]
Daniel: Not working. Need to grow older.
Frank: Older? You mean like Shelley Winters older or Shirley MacLaine older?
Daniel: What's the difference?
Frank: Some Scotch tape and red hair dye.
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Cop: Ma'am, are you aware that it's against the law to possess animals of a barnyard nature in a residential area?
Miranda: What if you're married to one?
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Miranda: I bring home a birthday cake and a few gifts; you bring home the Goddamn San Diego Zoo and I have to clean up after it.
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Natalie: We're in the middle of Charlotte's Web. Who's gonna finish it?
Daniel: Grandma can finish it for you.
Natalie: But she's not as good. She doesn't do the voices, and she smells funny.
Daniel: That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.
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Mrs. Doubtfire: The only thing you'll be watching is deep CNN.
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Daniel: Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day, and look at it and say "this is not my life"?
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Daniel: Hello, my name is Ilsa Immelmann. And I want to know, how many children do you have?
Miranda: I have two girls and a boy.
Daniel: Ah, a boy. I don't work with the males, because I used to be one.
[Miranda hangs up the phone]
Miranda: Yikes.
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Miranda: Hello?
Daniel: I am job.
Miranda: I beg you a pardon?
Daniel: I... am... job.
Miranda: Do you speak English?
Daniel: I am job!
Miranda: Sorry, the position has been filled. [Hungs up]

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