The Truth About Love -- TOEFL Version

___ causes people to fall in love remains one of the most basic human mysteries.

A). That
B). What
C). It
D). Whom


Love is an emotion that can not be ___

A). Defined easy
B). An easy definition
C). Easily defined
D). Defining Easily


These were in my 2000 practice questions. No matter how intrigued you are to analyse the content of the sentence, try very hard not to. Stick to the structure and make your choice. You will run out of time otherwise if you think about it too long. But besides the point, If you do insist on pondering some more about this four-letter word, I have no suggestion :) Have a great weekend...

Life Doesn't Come With Instuctions

santamonica66763 : She's a good person
santamonica66763 : She deserves everything good
drum freak : But not every bad person deserves bad thing
santamonica66763 : Agree...

drum freak : Maybe for some,
drum freak : things doesn't come out like what the Cosmo said
drum freak : and it's okay to dump those magz,
drum freak : then look for another 'bible'
santamonica66763 : Hehehe... It's fun to read
santamonica66763 : Like to make Newsweek as my bible
santamonica66763 : but it lacks manual on handling life

November, 2004

Control Freak

A guy : Let me help you Ma'am
Melanie : No thank you. I can get it
A guy : No, no.. Please
Melanie : NO, really! I got it
A guy : Stupid American woman
Sammy : Mom, that guy just called you stupid
Melanie : Well I am stupid sometimes honey. But I'd rather be stupid than sorry.
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Another guy : After you Ma'am
Melanie : No, after you Sir
Another guy : No, no.. I insist
Melanie : I insist more
---------------------------------------------------------------- One Fine Day

Cozy Corner & Comfy Couch...

Just add a good book and a cup of choco. And you're all set for the evening. Have a great weekend everybody!

Summer On Hold

Tony Blair inhabits a dangerous world. According to the British prime minister's trusted advisers, the planet is heating up fast. Temperatures in the northern hemisphere are rising more rapidly than at any time in the last thousand years. Hundreds of millions of people are at increased risk from flooding as sea levels rise. Changing weather patterns will exact a "heavy human and economic" cost. And mankind is, to "a greater or lesser extent," to blame.
George W. Bush is more fortunate. His world is much rosier. His advisers do not agree that global warming is underway and do not think that urgent action is called for, according to a leaked draft of the communique for the upcoming G8 summit. The Bushies went through the document and bracketed each point they took issue with. "Anything of any possible significance was between square brackets," says Tony Grayling, head of the sustainability program at the Institute for Public Policy Research, a London-based think tank. The White House hasn't commented.
Newsweek International July 11

So... What else is new?
Let's just talk about the weather and leave politics out. It is raining here infact . And it's July. You can say the weather is weird. It's should be summer by now. Good thing about summer is that it's two seasons away to winter.

Logic On Leave

My logic was on a break anyway. My left brain refused to function. It decided to take a long vacation after some years of overwork. Ow well...No biggie.

Afif Naya Kiss

Afif Naya Kiss,
originally uploaded by St. Catherine.

My baby boy didn't know what to do when a girl kissed him... Cute :) I think Naya knows her way around boys early on.

Oo...By The Way...

Happy Birthday... To the Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Brave. Whatever good for you is good for the world. :)

A Question Of Abnormality

'When a man is tired of London, He is tired of Life..' Samuel Johnson.

When a man is tired of Jakarta, he's normal. Well...depends on what kind of living do you have in mind. Then we can question abnormality.. Just where ever you are, life is what you make it. Right?... Wrong?

Untamed Heart

Adam: I am not very good with people.

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Adam: Do you like music, Caroline?

Caroline: Mmm. That's the first time I heard you say my name. It sounded... nice.

Adam: Would you like to listen to my records Caroline?... Caroline.

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Caroline: What's your dog's name?

Adam: I don't know. He never told me.

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[During her beauty exam]

Caroline: Lady, I'm not butchering your hair! It's a free haircut so stop your bitching before I cut it all off, you fat cow!

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Caroline: First guy to walk out of my life, definetly not the last. Funny things, you and me. You always stayin' away from love, me always chasin' after it.

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Caroline: My life is like watching The Three Stooges in Spanish!

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Cindy: It's not right to feel shitty this time of year, but everybody does. It's like this is life and once you go through it long enough you realize what the flavor is. And it sure ain't vanilla!

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Adam: I follow you home...

Caroline: You follow me home?

Adam: I wasn't finished.

Caroline: Finish.

Adam: I follow you home to make sure you're... safe.

Caroline: Well I never see you.

Adam: I stay pretty far behind. I'm sorry.

Caroline: Well, I mean, don't be sorry... I just...

Adam: I wasn't finished.

Caroline: Finish.

Adam: I am sorry I was late that night.

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Caroline: I never hear you speak and when you do you apologize for saving me?

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Adam: I wonder if you think about me.

Caroline: Of course I think about you!

Adam: I wasn't finished!

Caroline: Finish.

Adam: I wonder if you think about me half as much as I think about you.

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Caroline: I have fallen...

Adam: Are you hurt?

Caroline: I wasn't finished.

Adam: Finish.

Caroline: I have fallen so in love with you, so much more than I said I would.

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Caroline: He don't make sense, I don't make sense, together we make sense.

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Adam: I love hockey.

Caroline: You didn't even know what a power-play was.

Adam: I know. But next time you can tell me.

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Adam: You are my peace.

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Adam: You just wished on a planet.

Caroline: Figures.

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Caroline: He was like an angel, you know? I never knew life could be like that. He was the one thing I followed through in my life, the one thing I didn't give up on. I was good at loving him.

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Caroline: Magic records and a baboon heart...

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Caroline: What did the doctor say?
Adam: That I'm not allowed to stick knives in my stomach.
Caroline: Adam your heart is diseased! You need a new one.
Adam: But this is my heart! I'm afraid that if they take it away I won't be able to love you the same. Caroline: You don't really love with your heart, it's just a saying. You love with your mind and soul, not you heart.

Adam: [Touching his chest] Then how come I hurt here when you're not with me?

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Too lame..? Too bad... bite me...I've seen it hundreds of times ( Ok, I'm exaggerating ).

Think Jakarta...

NBC Nightly News

Congested South: As millions of Americans move South in search of the "good life," they're dealing with a big city problem: Traffic. Don Teague reports tonight from Atlanta, where commuters are coping with congestion, construction, big trucks and bad drivers.

:) they haven't seen nothing yet...

Making Conversation...Talking About The Weather

Lovely morning! Cloudy, my kinda weather. I even forgot to brush my hair leaving for office :) Like, who cares about bad hair day when it's beautiful outside. Thank God for the shampoos nowadays, they leave your hair untangled :) Anyway, talking about weather,... Amazing how the weather can clear out instantly after a storm. Ofcourse, the contrary applies when it comes to human moods... If you know what I mean.

Cup Of Water

Beyondsky_glass_of_water
Originally uploaded by St. Catherine.

The idea of romantic things in life..., besides winter ofcourse. Too solitary? Tell me about it..hhuummpphh. Can't help my taste. Take it as a different point of view if you dont agree with me. Just dont conclude anything :) I just so happen to like them. By the way, all these were taken by Beyondsky and posted without permission. Oh well, not that I'm using them commercially anyway. So here they are... Click for more...

A Fine Idea

Talking about hazelnut coffee... A cup of espresso and a slice of cheese cake is a fine idea this time of the day...

Sound Of Winter?!?!

Was browsing by people's blog and noticing people have started to welcome Spring. Me never want Winter to end. The serenity of watching the falling snow in stillness, not of motion, but of sound. It's like there's a kind of hush, borrowing a song title. Should have a picture to illustrate but as you know.. I lost my Hello. Ok, I dont wanna bring it up again. It's too painful..!?!?!? :) Suddenly want a sprinkle of cinnamon on my hazelnut coffee.. Sooo Winter...

Papercut

If you play with fire, you will get burnt. If you play with paper, you will get papercut. I get that almost everyday now working with load of paper. A slight cut all over my hands. Most likely I will find out that I just got another one in the shower. You know how cuts are with soap.

Limited Access

Not only did the IT guys at the office ban Friendster and Yahoo Messenger, they also have taken away my privilege as the administrator of my station due to the excessive download of...porns! Let me remind you that my station is public. Anybody at my departement can log in to it using their own account or mine. I have no way of knowing who has used my pc but I know someone has misused it when the virus scan keeps popping up detecting trojans. But what has made it all the more miserable for me is that Hello has been deleted so I can no longer post picture to my blog :( And I cant re-install it. They have to reinstate my access. I'm gonna bomb the IT Dept. and shoot those editors... While I'm at it, you guys have a great day!

Baby Afif & Me

This was written early January. I spent New Year with my family and friends in Makassar. It was alright. The bye-bye part with Ai was a bit of a drag. But not until the take off. I always intent to appear strong and tough in front of people. There he was holding a yellow race car toys and looking up at me as I was ready to give him my good-bye hug. I couldnt stand the look on his face. 'Da..da..NdaLia'. On the plane, the gentleman sat beside me was kind enough to distract my attention by keep making conversation. He noticed I was breaking down. I thanked him but never got to know his name. During his succesful effort to make me feel better, He was very resourseful on Malaysian goverment structure. I mean, what else would we talk about, we just met. He also said, if you are away from home you should be extra extra tough. He was talking to the toughest girl :) on planet earth who was all falling apart to pieces looking out the dissapearing blinking city and car lights way up from the plane window trying to spot one light. The light of her universe :(. I should've not taken the window seat. Anyway, I got snap shots of Ai and me. He just got his head shaved. He was refusing the scissor, or whatever the tool is the barber used, touching his head until the buzzer moved up and down his head and imitated a running car. Little boys and cars, go figure. Mind me saying that He is the most adorable little creature brought into my life. Not because He's mine, but because it's so true. I've gotten better without him though. The first days I was ever away from Him, I remember six months ago in a grocery trying so hard to fight back the tears only from brushing by the baby socks alley.

New Office

The view of downtown Jakarta from my office window is quite fascinating. Not the beauty, but the jam-packed traffic and the irregular pattern of the buildings and streets. From 17th floor, I can see all the way across town. Since moving into the new office, we have 500% ( yes, 500% ) more work to do. It doesnt take 10 minutes for me to fall asleep when my head touches the pillow. Home at 8, in bed by 9. I used to feel sorry for those whose jobs are holding them after office hour. They may now welcome me to the club. It feels more and more like 'having a job' and actually have works to be done that is related to my occupation. You know, besides books, blogging, lounging, and all the fun stuff I got to do before. Is that my cue?

Beautiful Mind

Nash : There could be a mathematical explanation for how bad that tie is.
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Alicia : It's called "life," John. Activities available; just add meaning.
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Alicia : I need to believe, that something extraordinary is possible.
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Alicia : God must be a painter. Why else would we have so many colors?
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Nash : Find a truly original idea. It is the only way I will ever distinguish myself. It is the only way I will ever matter.
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Nash : Alicia, does our relationship warrant long-term commitment? I need some kind of proof, some kind of verifiable, empirical data.
Alicia : How big is the universe?
Nash : Infinite.
Alicia : How do you know?
Nash : I know because all the data indicates it's infinite.
Alicia : But it hasn't been proven yet.
Nash : No.
Alicia : You haven't seen it.
Nash : No.
Alicia : How do you know for sure?
Nash : I don't, I just believe it.
Alicia : It's the same with love I guess.
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Nash : I've gotten used to ignoring them and I think, as a result, they've kind of given up on me. I think that's what it's like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we've got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.
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Nash : I've made the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you. You're the only reason I am... you're all the reasons I am.
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Nash : Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart.

Take The World And Give It Your Own Name!

I'm not too crazy about New Year. It's just a term referring the new period of the earth circulating the sun. Is it? A bit late, was gonna post this for the occasion, but anyway... It's from my fave movie, Wedding Planner. The scene, Mary was home from work, opened the door to her apartment, hang the keys on the hook, put her bag on the foyer desk,... not important. Singing this sort of pumping up the spirit. Like you can take the world and give it your own name.

In Good Time

We can make believe/That everything makes sense/And there's no need to worry now/Coz' you're not like all the rest.../Living with only your heart/A new day arrives & its only the start/Of Something already here/The sky's open up/And its perfectly clear.../It's all waiting for you/You can take the world/And give it your own name/It's all there waiting for you/No matter what you find/You will never be the same.../Smile for the picture man dear/Its another day, another dream, ANOTHER NEW YEAR/And who knows what you'll find/But it's all comin' round/All in good time.../When you're standing alone/Facing the darkness/I did know /I know your light will never fade away/You will always be the one to shine...In good time. Jessica Sheely

So What Is It?

If it's because of his/her eyes or his/her lips or his/her great body,
It's not love, it's LUST.
If it's because of his/her intelligence and practicality and insights about life,
It's not love, it's ADMIRATION.
If it's because he/she cries every time you try to leave,
It's not love, it's PITY.
If it's because he/she makes you forget to eat and sleep and study,
It's not love, it's INFATUATION.
If it's because he/she seems to be too weak to stand on his/her own,
It's not love, it's CONCERN.
If it's because he/she looks like your ex,
It's not love it's TRANSFERENCE.
If you can lay down your life for him/her,
It's not love, it's HEROISM.
Love is when you do not know why you seem to be attracted to a certain person love has its reason that reason cannot understand...

Hehehe. Puzzled? Join the club. This has made it all the more complicated, given that no definition has ever been accepted by my tangled and complex comprehension of 'the big word'. Or maybe you don't need to define it. Some people do last a lifetime without ever defining what love is. Or maybe it's not always the first on the list. Like.. people can get by without it. So what's the fuss?

Technicalities

People seem to have theories on how to reach happiness and live life succesfully. At the end it's all about technicalities..

A Lot To Talk About

Tuesday on NBC Nightly News ( 01/12/05 ) with Brian Williams:
What's up with Mother Earth? ... from the deadly tsunami in Southeast Asia to record rainfall in California and 70-degree January days in New York City, the world's climate seems to have taken an unexpected turn. NBC's Kerry Sanders talks to an earth scientist to find out what's happening. Is it all some sort of warning sign from our planet?

Can you tell I have a lot to talk about?

No Sign Of Life

Almost a month without a single post. I'm a disgrace to the blogging world. I'll see you guys in a bit. .

My 'Grown Up' (?!?!) Christmas Wish

Was wondering if I can ask for snow in my Christmas list. Either it's being brought to me or I'm being brought to it.

Seventeen Days To Christmas, But Who's Counting!?!

Christmas is not Christmas without Christmas movies. We have our favorite Home Alone series ready. I saw Serendipity and While You Were Sleeping few days ago. Thought I started early. Dont I always get ahead of the season?

From While Your Sleeping
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Lucy : You give up your seat every day in the train.
Peter : Well... But that's not heroic.
Lucy : It is to the person who sits in it.
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Joe Jr. : O.K., Lucy, it's either me or him!
Lucy : Him.
Joe Jr. : You don't have to answer right away.
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Lucy : Doesn't anybody use a phone anymore?
Joe Jr. : I do.
Lucy : I'm not talking about 900 numbers.
Joe Jr. : Who told you?
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Lucy : The truth was that I fell in love with you.
Ox Callahan : You fell in love with me?
Lucy : No, N-o, yes. All of you. I went from being all alone to being a fiancee, a daughter a granddaughter, a sister and a friend.
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Jerry : You're born into a family. You do not join them like you do the Marines.
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Jack : What do you know about my family? Spending a week with them does *not* make you an expert!
Lucy : Spending a *lifetime* with them, hasn't make you one, either!
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Lucy : Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person *really* knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that YOU were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?
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Lucy : It's just... I never met anyone I could laugh with. You know?
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Elsie : I don't drink anymore... I don't drink any less, either!
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Elsie : I like Mass better in Latin. It's nicer when you don't know what they're saying.
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Peter : Ashley!
Ashley : Scumbag! You're engaged? May I remind you-you proposed to me?
Peter : You said no. We broke up.
Ashley : No, no. I was confused, we stepped back.
Peter : You moved to Portugal.
Ashley : Yes, well, I didn't think you were going to run out and marry the first bimbo.
Peter : Lucy's not a bimbo.
Ashley : Lucy? Lucy who?
Peter : I don't remember. I have amnesia.
Ashley : Amnesia. Oh that's rich. Alright, fine! I want my stuff back.
Peter : Then I want my stuff back.
Ashley : What stuff?
Peter : Your nose.
Ashley : [shocked] You can't have my nose back!
Peter : I paid for it.
Ashley : [gesturing to her breasts] Well then here! You paid for these too!
Peter : Keep it. I'm a changed man Ashley.
Ashley : Go ahead. Go ahead and marry her, you one-balled bastard.
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Priest : Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to...
Lucy : I object.
Saul : Oh, geez.
Priest : I didn't get to that part yet.
Jack : I would have to object too.
Priest : What about you?
Peter : I'm thinking!
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Ashley : Peter Callahan is engaged to me. I object to this wedding!
Priest : Get in line.
Ashley's husband : And I object to your objection.
Mary Callaghan : Who's that?
Peter : Ashley's husband.
Midge Callaghan : You proposed to a married woman?
Peter : Yes. And I'm in a coma when my brother makes a play for my- sort of my fiancée
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Lucy : I've had a really lousy Christmas, you've *just* managed to kill my New Year's, if you come back on Easter- you can burn down my apartment.
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Lucy : You don't have to walk me home.
Jack : You block the wind.
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Jack : I want you... not to be unhappy...
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Lucy : Peter once asked me, when it was that I fell in love with Jack, and I told him, it was 'while you were sleeping'.
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What's On Your Mind?

'...A penny for your thought?..' Mommy Walker, One Saturday brunch in June some years ago, Bamboo House, our favourite Chinese restaurant for weekend. Me sitting by the big glass window overlooking highway 69 watching the cars passing by or so I thought... Or thoughts adrifting gazing vacantly into the air.

Jerry Maguire

Dorothy : I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.
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Dorothy : Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work.
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Jerry Maguire : What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy : Why not? I deserve that much.
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Jerry Maguire : I love you. You... complete me.
Dorothy : Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "hello."
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Getting Comfortable?

Lovely morning, fine misty weather, a good start of the day. I came up to my floor and smelled my shower cream. A sweet invigorating scent of orange aromatheraphy. I wonder if the cleaning guy did use some shower cream to mop the floor. He didn't ofcourse, but the liquid he used is also scented with orange aromatheraphy. I guess more and more people need every possible form of mind relaxing theraphy. But the exact same fragrance on my skin and on the floor?

Yesterday, I surprisingly had some work to be done at the office that took up most of the day. I wasn't exactly drowning in a sea of paperworks that you can't see me sitting behind my desk. Enough to make me forget to return 2 calls and extend my book loan. My frantic day would be a shorter-list day for everyone else. Anyway, this is like waiting for another shoe to drop. I've told myself not to get too comfortable. But 4 months is getting-too-comfortable.

From Some Seasons Ago...

...When the going gets tough and the tough gets going.

So American...

Maikel : Alhamdulillah fine. Tgl 25 hari Kamis, tapi seingatku biasanya hari Selasa sekolah mulai libur. Why? Dont tell me you're celebrating it.
Santamonica66763 : Not in a festive way. But why not? We can thank God everyday but I think it's a good idea to have a day where giving thanks is... official?!?! I'd like to wish Happy Thanksgiving to my hostfam. Was gonna wish you too but seemingly you don't acknowledge it.
Maikel : Since you define it as to be thankful to God, I agree with you. It's just the idea of American culture thing discouraged me. With your perspective, I'd go along...
Santamonica66763 : Iya sih kadang2 I reminisce moment like Thanksgiving and Christmas in US.
Maikel : I see.. You have good old times memory with these events. I guess I never really grasp Thanksgiving, I thought it all about European coming to America.
Santamonica66763 : Is it? I never really know the history.

Here's a kiddy site on The History of Thanksgiving. And... I took a silly test on 'What Part of Thanksgiving are You?'. Result is... 'You Are the Stuffing. You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together. People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.' Hahaha. Happy Thanksgiving!

Nothing Grand. Really...

Three months going on four. Never thought before I'd last this long. Keep checking on papers and got ecstatic to find some that I could project myself devoted to for a long period of time, before, and after, finding my way back to school. They suit the rather perfect scheme of gratifying work. I don't have any idea for a peace resolution in Middle East, nor do I have the courage to work for the refugee in armed conflict area. Nothing grand. Perhaps one that will make me contented at the end of the day and coming home knowing I have directly made a difference in people's life, even the tiniest, because I have worked for a cause, not merely for the purpose of paying the bills, getting a sweater that is so me, or buying chinas for mom. If there's one that encompasses all that, I don't see why not. Now, one can say, I'm having too much fun with much abandonment to my yearning. I fool around some 80% of my work hour and manage to get the task done promptly. Day in day out, I would slouch on the sofa in the lounge reading novels over French vanilla coffee. Either that or browsing, blogging, chatting, or talking on the phone. Sounds like a treat? You bet. But why do I want something else?

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
--Emily Dickinson--

The Way He Remembers Me

He's not so difficult to please. He spends a lot of time playing with scattered pieces of paper with car pictures his mom had ripped out from mags. He would mumble holding the paper as if he was reading or telling stories. It just made my day that he likes to do it.
He has an album full of car pics that he looks for first thing he wakes up in the morning. After tossing away his bottle ofcourse. Later in the afternoons, I would sit him on my lap, start turning pages and pointing at the pictures and saying things like telling him a story. Just make up stuffs. You will quickly bore your self up with all the rambling sentences you came up with, but He wouldn't let you stop and would tap your hand on the page when you did. Car pictures are fine for now. Next step, Dickens & Hemingway.

Simple Life

'..Bill and I got married following our first-born/Daddy left this gas and convenience store just before he died/And I was only nineteen when I had my third baby/Sometimes I think maybe I should have left here long ago/Travelers are stopping by check their oil and their P.S.I./Gas up and away they fly moving down the line/But this beat up truck and worn out shoes/Always giving me the blues/Bill is sucking down the booze nearly every night/I've never seen the city lights how they must shine so bright/Not like this country night the sky's black as coal/And this gas station mountain home/Not a thing to call my own/I wish I was alone with a penny to my name/Strangers say this mountain here is beautiful beyond compare/But it's just a dumb old mountain there/I see it every day/If I could see a sunset skies over fields of grain or ocean tides/City skyline in the night I'll be dancing till the dawn/Maybe Bill and I someday will find a chance to get away/Until then it's here I'll stay wishing on a star..' Roger Henderson

Does this fit the description of simple life? Or is life never simple anyhow you live it... Hehehe. I think life is how you make it. It's all in the mind...

Although You Are Self-Reliant

Nothing beats knowing the fact that there are people in your life who would gladly go out of their way to do simple, even big, favor for you. Even the ones who are not obliged to you. They come as surprise when you least expect them to. One sense of security covered, sixteen thousand more to go.

Girl Empowerment on Second Thought

Ladies... If you are in your late 20's and single, You might wanna switch your reading from Cosmopolitan to... say... Parent's Guide. Hahaha... Cosmo makes you feel supergood to be single. And dwell on the idea. A conversation over the best marble cheese cake in town with old friends ignited the thought.

This heartbreaking little guy has not the faintest idea how much I wanna have him in my arms. Can we have early Christmas this year?

It Was Not Until The Lights Of The Carnival Grew Dim

It was one evening of the summer I spent in Owatonna. Mary and I had just got home from the Carnival. Mary had helped setting up the booth for the Democrat. We were tending the booth most of the evening. I met many people and remarkably remembered all of their names, even a week later. Mary was particularly impressed by that. I drained half of my energy for that actually.

The rest of the evening at the carnival, I wandered off. I found it amusing how big the turkeys were that had won purple ribbon, or yellow, or red, or blue --or maybe because I haven't seen many of them before--. There was the school booth. They put up the children's art work. That must have meant a lot for the kids for everybody to see their works. My favorite was the nursery manor's booth. The elderlies had made recycled greeting cards, bookmarks, and flower arrangements. I bought almost every card they put on display that day. For 50 cents each, you couldn't get any better deal. And of course there were cotton candy, corn dogs, taffy, and lemonade at just about every turn of the corner.

It was the very hamburger I had for dinner that evening that has made me decide to never have any more hamburger. The hamburger meat was so juicy and almost shocking pink. I took it as it was raw. So when, later on, Daddy Orville made hamburger for our barbecue nights out on the lawn, I refused them as many times. Sometimes I couldn't bear the look of disappointment on his face, I insisted on only eating around the edge of the hamburger where the meat would most likely be done. Fair enough. But I had to let him down the one time he barbecued for us toads or frogs or something in that species. Raw hamburger was one thing, and four-legged jumping green creature was another.

I enjoyed my little adventure at the carnival and worried a bit if my roaming alone lead me lost. I was, and am, never good with direction. But throw me a map, I'll figure it out. It was probably a simpler version of Alice in wonderland. Although I can't remember how the story goes.

I think it was Anna then who had found me and told me that we were ready to head home. Anna, for me, was a mixture of Kelly Osborne, minus the minus attitude, Edie Brickel, and Princess Diana. Got the picture? She is a very friendly girl without being too lively with pink hair and snake pet. She was trying to make me feel comfortable at all time during my stay with her and her family. Without much effort she apparently succeeded. I wish we could have stayed longer at the Carnival but some of the lights were out. It wasn't quite dark yet at 8.30 pm of the summer up north.

So we were home. Mike was working. He was a Pharmacist & a Manager of a 24 hours drug store downtown (if there was a downtown of a small town). He worked odd hours. I think that's how a drug store should operate. Available at any time. I didn't know where Tom was as I never have known. I'd say he was out of town to Wynona where his girlfriend lived. It was a about two hours ride eastern crossing the river and state border to a neighboring Wisconsin. Wynona Rider was actually born there. We dropped off Anna at Megans for sleep-over.

I remember sitting on the rocking chair in the living room rocking slowly as I was humming 'The Way We Were' to Mary's piano play. She said we should call a piano teacher so I can play and sing. We never quite got to it. I had to fly half way across the country down South, leaving the place for the longest time I thought I would never have missed should I had never come to know it. It's a place where you practically awakened in the morning by the chirping summer birds. I would slide the window up and scare away the birds, and was left with a total calmness gazing out the street. I'd still, now and then, be brought to the thought of quiet Owatonna by the smell of a certain kind of wood (I have a very limited knowledge of wood variety, I'd say it's cherry or oak). Or when I see a postman or a story telling at the library, or Oil of Olay, or Campbell soup.

A Winter Person

I know it's not winter yet but let me get ahead. I'm sure it has started to get chilly now up there. Will it ever snow down here?

Bitter and Cynical?

lovely_ephy : I just watched 50 first dates
lovely_ephy : lucu jg ya
santamonica66763 : not so to me
lovely_ephy: why?
santamonica66763 : I expect more
lovely_ephy : tp endingnya jg bagus
santamonica66763 : like most movie...
santamonica66763 : thats how they end
lovely_ephy : u prefer unusual ends?
santamonica66763 : perhaps...
santamonica66763 : I mean...
santamonica66763 : life's not always working out the way we plan
santamonica66763 : and hollywood screenwriter ought to realize that
santamonica66763 : they literally selling dreams
lovely_ephy : nah itu kan yg laku skrg
santamonica66763 : yeah...
santamonica66763 : Capitalist.. lacking moral value
lovely_ephy : but it makes people keep dreaming and reach it
santamonica66763 : dreaming and daydreaming
santamonica66763 : are two very diffent things
lovely_ephy : we are talking about dreaming right? arent we?
santamonica66763 : we are
santamonica66763 : what is your dream?
santamonica66763 : what are they...
santamonica66763 : live happily ever after?
lovely_ephy : maybe
santamonica66763 : u're not even sure..
lovely_ephy : i really wish sometime life can be like fairytale
santamonica66763 : those hollywood movies
santamonica66763 : have really got into you
lovely_ephy : yup
lovely_ephy : i wish sometimes we can be that lucky baby
santamonica66763 : any effort?
lovely_ephy : nope....just wish that there's a cute nice prince coming to save me
lovely_ephy : heheheee
santamonica66763 : have you heard Tata Young new song?
santamonica66763 : No cinderella
lovely_ephy : nope
santamonica66763 : '..I dont wanna be like cinderella waiting in a dark and dusty cellar waiting for somebody to come and set me free I'd rather rescue myself..'
lovely_ephy : but at least she lives happily ever after
santamonica66763 : heheheh
santamonica66763 : but you should really have a sense of hero for your self
santamonica66763 : like you can rescue your self
lovely_ephy : good point


I have to admit, I enjoy what those Hollywood screenwriter have to offer. The movies served their purpose. So they're selling dreams. We buy them.

Reality Bites?

'..I thought the 6 am news would never air but it aired and it's time for me to close my eyes while the rest of the world turns and minding their own business..'

'..So here we go again. Another beginning of day. Can the time just freeze a while please.. and let me rest some more? What's so enchanting out there anyway? Worth me rushing off my bed. Wonder if my dreams make sequel. A moment pause from reality. I refuse to get along with the world..'

I must have been feeling pretty low. College can be a real drag at times.

From the movie Reality Bites.

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Michael Grates: Have I stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you? Because excuse me if somebody doesn't know the secret handshake with you.

Troy Dyer: There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake.
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Troy Dyer: [answering the phone] Hello, you've reached the winter of our discontent.
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Vickie: Sometimes I get that not-so-fresh feeling.
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Lelaina Pierce: I'd like to somehow make a difference in peoples' lives.

Troy Dyer: And I... I would like to buy them all a Coke.

Lelaina Pierce: And you wonder why we never got involved?
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Troy Dyer: He's the reason Cliffs Notes were invented.
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Vickie Miner: I'm late for a jean folding seminar. Let's locomote!
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Lelaina Pierce: Are you religious?

Michael Grates: Um, uh, I guess uh, I guess I'm, uh a non-practicing Jew.

Lelaina Pierce: Hey, I'm a non-practicing virgin.
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Lelaina Pierce: I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23.

Troy Dyer: Honey, all you have to be by the time you're 23, is yourself.

Lelaina Pierce: I don't know who that is anymore.

Troy Dyer: I do. And we all love her. I love her. She breaks my heart again and again. But I love her.
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Vickie: Evian is naive spelled backward.
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Lelaina Pierce: Hey Sammy, what's your goal?

Sammy: My goal is... I'd like a career or something.
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Lelaina Pierce: Alright fine you wanna be in a band fine. Go ahead. Play everynight. Play three times a night! Don't just dick around the same coffee house for five years. Don't dick around with her; or with me. I mean try at something for once in your life, do something about it. But you know what? You better do it now and you better do it fast because the world doesn't owe you any favors.
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[assuming the question had no answer at all]

Lelaina: Can you define "irony"?

Troy Dyer: It's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning.
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Charlane McGregor: Why dont you get a job at the Burgerrama? they'll hire you

Lelaina: Because I was the Valedictorian of my University!

Tom Pierce: Well you dont have to put that on your application
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Lelaina Pierce: I have to work around here, and unfortunately Troy, you are a master at the art of time suckage.

Being Children

On my 20th birthday I said to my Mom with a big smile and stretched out hands that I was twenty and all grown up. Mom walked off and non-chalantly said 'To me you're always 5'.
In their minds we never really grow up.

Control Freak

'.. I'm not a control freak. I've got all this little balls up in the air, and if someone tries to catch it, I'll lose them all..' Melanie Parker-One fine day

Count Your Blessings

Across from my room I could hear Mommy & Daddy Walker say their bedtime prayer. They thank God for every blessings that day down to the littlest one. They thank God for the strawberry ice cream we had in the living room one day coming home from a mass at 11 pm.

They thank God for other people in their lives and the blessings those other people have had. They asked forgiveness for every mistakes they have done throughout the day and forgiveness for the mistakes of other people they know.


'.. For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer. Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair. Walk beside the pony Daddy, it's my first ride. I know the cake looks funny Daddy, but I sure tried. With all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right. To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night..' Bob Carlisle

Box of Chocolate On Weekend

The grandparent's. Loads of laundry. Movies. And trying to get every possible mind distraction of passing up two applications deadline. Life is about making decisions. Or is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're getting --Mrs. Gump--.

What Am I To Do...

The Library will be closed until November 22 for reopening. Bummer...

To What Do I Owe The Serenity of The Night Sky?

"Lonestar where are you out tonight? This feeling I'm trying to fight. It's dark and I think that I would give anything for you to shine down on me. How far you are, I just don't know the distance I'm willing to go. I pick up a stone that I cast to the sky. Hoping for some kind of sign." Lee Alexander.

The picture is perfect with the song, I thought.

Early Birthday WIsh

Birthday is not until late next month but I really wanna talk about it. Hehe...
Was just wishing if I could possibly have the day all to myself. Dissapear for one day. No calls, no cards, no, gifts, no kisses, no hugs. I figured if I've spent all my 364 days with people, I'd like to have that one day all to myself. A perfect getaway to a fancy hotel. Order in-room breakfast. Out shopping for a new pair of shoes. Movies. Two hour bath. Dress up nicely and dining downstair. And sleep in a shirt. This can't happen, cause I will have to work that day. Maybe one day. All day my birthday, one birthday somewhere.

Only Happy When It Rains

First rain of the season. The scent of the soil and trees right after... Tranquility, is the word I was looking for.